December 07 and October 09

December 2007, I went to bed one night, and couldn’t meditate, I felt like I was holding a live wire. I thought I was having a stroke and was going to die. My teacher, Dr Hawkins, spoke as if he were right there with me. He said, “Well, if you’re gonna die, then die!” And he giggled. I giggled too. And I went instantly to sleep.

In the morning I woke up to a state of walking samadhi that lasted for 3 weeks or so. During that time, I went to space without a space suit. I saw the body of God as all the galaxies gathered together – looked like a man. I saw from space that we think we are small from observing the surface of the planet through straws of limiting belief.

Everyone and everything was beautiful. Glowing as if lit from within. I didn’t need electric light. Light bulbs spontaneously shorted and burned out. Electric things would stop working or resume working.

I tried to drive the car that new years eve. I was totally sober, but the car was like a space ship that I could fly off into space if I wanted and it wouldn’t matter. I laughed so hard, it felt so good to drive a spaceship. The car/ship was not attached to me, and I was not the body but controller of the body through arranging the movement of light into its form.

Driving was like how I imagined hydroplaning might be. The body “pixelated” in and out, free flowing, not part of me, but mine. My creating thing. My husband was in the passenger seat. Laughing too but just a bit (a lot) fearful for his life. I pulled into a gas station to let him drive. Got out of the car, still laughing so hard tears were streaming. Could read everyone’s thoughts as they were in me, not outside of me. A woman there thought, ” that poor man needs a new wife”, and it just killed me some more! I died a thousand times; it was all just so unbelievably funny.

I mostly sat in a chair that glorious month of December 07. The dogs chewed the chair to shreds and competed for my lap; I sat in the Silence, listening with inner ears.

But then I thought, I could be a super social worker now! And got a job in the field that February of 2008.

By August I was in total despair. Sept I got on a bus and went from BC Canada to Sedona AZ. Left hubby, kids, job. The further away from home I got, the higher I got. For two weeks, in a state of functioning ecstasy again. Lots of spiritual awakenings/realizations. Felt compelled to go back home, just as I felt compelled to leave. Once home, the state left again.

The state of 2009, while leaving the house fire, after the backtracking through the sun and black hole, was 100% qualitative. Knowledge was purely the qualities of balance, love, truth, beauty, law of repetition that back all of creation. It was the ecstatic quality of God’s communing the Idea of Creation. The sense of love and lightness and laughter of Dec 07 was all there, but not perceived as the senses were severed. Everything and everyone was included in this formless awareness. I would love to spend my whole life just disseminating those few seconds of eternity!

Copyright@Darcie French 2020