Occluded by the sensual interpretation of the illusion of it not happening, the peace of enlightenment is what already is. Perfect Peace is the Birthright of the Self.
Please forgive the temporal nature of the following account, for the only Truth in time and out of time is Love. This is the Truth that seems lost in time, but is never lost to Eternity.
In 2005 I was given the book “Power vs Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior” by Dr David R Hawkins, and the declaration that “enlightenment is my number one goal in life” was made.
I spent the year 2007 dedicated to meditation and reading Dr Hawkins book “I: Reality and Subjectivity”. The fear of enlightenment was intense and its climax was the surrendering to what felt like a stroke, in December 2007, when the difference between Self and ego self was realized. The fear that had built up dissolved in its opposite emotion (joy) and it was as if my brain went from being overwhelmed by adrenaline to being awash in a naturally occurring heroin. I “listened” only to Self’s One Loving Thought (vs the many fearful ego-self thoughts) for several glorious weeks.
Then the Thought of Love seemed to come and go again; it wasn’t Consistent (the goal being Total Consistency). Those fearful ego thoughts seemed to creep back into “reality”. It was as if I was experiencing the ideas of both Heaven and Hell on Earth, but yet not really being subject to either state. Consciousness was seemingly “all over the map”.
October 2009 I went spontaneously into what has previously been described as the Absolute State. It was/is Everything. There are no words to describe Knowing God/Love/Self’s “Word”. It seems I “came back” to the flesh from a nonlinear, formless state of Pure Love out of attachment love, to learn not to value again only “special” relationships of the flesh, but to wholly allow Love to be unconditional. Unconditional love “on Earth” is the right-minded reflection of Self-Love “in Heaven”.
2009-2015 were years spent as if living in two different worlds – I was Alive in Love as the Kingdom Within, and beside the appearance of ego without. The knowledge of the Absolute stayed in the Background as Innate Knowingness, and it could be described, but not necessarily “re-entered” by my own volition. Attachments and aversions seemed to run rampant, though they would run out. Guilt and fear came and went, across a backdrop of Silent Love that was seemingly blocked by their presence, and unblocked by their release. Guilt and fear came with the noisy ego-self, and went back into the silence with Self.
October 2015, while hearing the voice of Jesus/The Holy Spirit/The Right Mind through reading the ACIM text, a channel for communicating Love came back open. It was “the miracle” that needed to happen for the roller coaster ride between special love and fear to stop. Miracles are thoughts, and it was by a miraculous thought that a deleterious one was undone. I realized without guilt that it was a channel I had personally, but unwittingly blocked, and through the recognition of my own Guiltlessness, I allowed it to be re-opened. Through the voluntary re-opening of this blocked channel Love Resumed, and I was Atoned. The narcissistic core of the dark clinging to the belief in separation was uncovered, and “the Light” was allowed “to shine the darkness away”.
“Higher vs lower” states will seem to “come and go” as long as one is allowing guilt and fear on the journey. Fear arises from the guilt of trying to block Total Love. Self Loves All Equally, and so when ego-self jumps in and says, “But I don’t love this one”, the very Knowledge of Self-Love seems to leave, and in its place is an illusion of “not love”.
Letting go of all thoughts against the Self is key to allowing Self- Love, and to Knowing It Completely. It could be said that “full enlightenment” includes everyone in Mind in Perfect Peace, without exception.