Q: I am working on tracking down the original thought that is the basis for the so called database of ego. It could be the sensed thought “I AM.” If one really is not, as in deep sleep or when they are flowing and only NOW, which does not form a memory, this thinking mind which is governed by the ego or “I AM” thought has real potential to be a perversion of beingness… or so with my clumsily worded concept, it seems to have some validity.
A: I actually fully realize this. The search is fruitless – it lead me to suicide in the past, in order to try and eliminate this “original thought” or “sin” that supposedly “entrapped spirit”.
For many years after the State, the things I read on the topic mostly included this lack of understanding. And then I found Walter Russell’s work, describing, scientifically, the process of seeming to create an ecstatic sense of I am: how to do so with God/Love, attaining Oneness with the “Ultimate Fruit” shall we say, as Knowing Co-creator. All flow of Thinking Mind forms records, or thoughts/memories. Balanced flow records a balanced creation that is ecstatically Known. It is only ignorance of the Law of Creation that miscreates suffering. Knowledge of it creates a simulation of the ecstatic State of formless Beingness. I have lost many friends who believe in seeking the fruitless fruit, when they realize that My Testimony is not in alignment with their search. But I have found the rock of My Self, The Fruit, and so I am “Ok”.
The only perversion is to believe that the effect of Creating (memories/form) is the Self, or can impact the Self. This is what the ego is, in essence: the perverted idea and all of its offshoots that the body forms reality, and that it is the Self. The Self is real, and the body is only an effect. Cause and effect cannot be separated; there is no original thought that “did so”. Therefore, one may command and control effect with Love, and rest in the ecstatic qualities of the Self’s eternal Creativity. One may virtually forget the repeating body. It wholly becomes a non-event.
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Darcie French 