Personality or persona-wise, there was identification with the bipolar mood phenomenon going back to early childhood. The meaning of bipolar seemed innate to brain chemistry and/or mental health problems, until the return to Awareness of God as Self in middle age prompted a different understanding of it.
The experience of bipolar mood swings has changed; it seems because enlightenment drops the experiencer of consciousness, and brings one back to the witness to Awareness. Without the experiencer, “mood swings” are no longer viewed as such, because the energy differentials that seem to manufacture the mood swings are allowed vs resisted.
During the “down” or depressive phase of the bipolar cycling, there is only peace now vs suicidal depression. It is quite lovely to just go with it and meditate, sleep, rest, to “let go and let God”. The body has no energy to expend in this state, and that is experienced as “ok”. There is no “doer” in this state. The story-editor of the mind is completely quiet, silent, never-born. The witness to Awareness without attachment or aversion to experience in consciousness is a blissful, peaceful state of mind of its own accord. Within consciousness (ie the body’s response) the bliss seems to intensify with meditation and surrender. Bliss is God’s only “form” on Earth. Allowing the state of inertia vs fighting it and surrendering guilt over “the shoulds” in life enables the peace to simply be. One is the peace itself, and so within the framework of consciousness, it seems as if one becomes it.
The incredible loss of physical and mental energy during the down phase of the cycle used to be resisted. Guilt would arise over “the shoulds”. Laying there in bed, feeling literally unable to move, it was as if the mind would not shut down. All the things that were “supposed to be”, “but weren’t”- “because of the energy loss” – would overwhelm consciousness, and grief would be the reaction.
During the “up” or manic phase mind used to attach very strongly to the belief that “anything was possible” in the flesh, just as it is in consciousness itself. There are no real boundaries between thought and the manifest world. Love was, and still is, the quality of the energy behind the mania, but its only a reflection of Real Love, so can only be noticed in the form of attachment to substution. Surrender of attachment allows for Love to blossom unconditionally, and when this happens, it is as if the manic energy is “softened” by unconditional love’s lack of potential for aversion. Often there were unwanted consequences to material engagement in the manic phase, because the flip side of attachment is aversion.
Now, in the so-called manic phase, it is witnessed that the body seems to physically expend energy, and yet the mind is not projecting attachment or aversion to the expenditure. Bike riding and other activity that allows gentle physical release is a lovely compliment to this energy and its release. Knowing that the peace of the witness of awareness always trumps the experiencer of consciousness, the bipolar coaster is released from mind.