belief vs Relief

For the writer, an inquiry into the nature of the belief in separation from Knowledge began at a young age.

Altered states of consciousness were explored using drugs, alcohol and attempts at astral projection wherein a nonlinear kind of relief from the confinement of physical form was temporarily experienced; and yet, the clean, Still state of Awareness was never known solely for what it Is.

While consciousness was altered in those states, form/limitation was always present on some level; consciousness of a disconnected self was still operational. Levels of consciousness based in formed belief were still apparent, even in the seeming “absence” of the body. “Absence” suggests a counter piece of presence. The relief obtained from altered states of consciousness where the body seemed absent was temporary, confined to the state that but altered the idea of presence.

Altered states of consciousness provided a temporary sense of relief from being stuck in the “Earthen” body (the absent body in altered states could “fly” and/or was seemingly not subject to gravity), and the fact that Mind was not “cemented” to the brain was obvious. It seemed natural to want to expand on the inner Knowingness that Self-Awareness is nonlinear and goes beyond consciousness of linear form. There was the innate, ineffable Knowledge that there is a qualitative difference between self-consciousness and Self-Awareness.

Because of this Knowingness there was mental resistance to the body’s presence and a desire for experiencing its “absence”. Mistaken beliefs about what the body’s presence meant manifested as eating disorders, self-harming practices, risky behaviour taking, suicidal thoughts, attachment disorders and the general wish to die – as in – to not be so present in an Earthen body.

I desired to know formless Awareness directly, which I believed would free me from being subject to the limitations of form. I didn’t know it at the time, but all I needed to do was embrace the depolarized side of life; the depolarized side of life is the natural correlating absence of the body’s presence.

The resistance to the body and the manifestations of mental illness resolved with the understanding that the body is only perceived as disconnected from Source if I listen to the ego’s ideas for it, and I use it to avoid Knowledge.

Mind can “embrace” Knowledge by relaxing the senses and knowingly manifesting a happier dream than the nightmare of disconnection. A happier dream manifests the miraculous of connection “in form” vs the nightmarish effects of disconnection.

I went from viewing the body with self-hatred to looking at it with neutrality. The belief in the body’s purpose has changed and it is no longer seen as a barrier to Self-Love.

The struggle to “exit the body” ended when attention paid to the ego’s thought system ended.

To make the body suffer is to side with the ego and the belief in the need for suffering, and alternately, to make the body happy is a reflection of God’s Idea.

Practically speaking, there is a cure for every symptom of separation in this realm, so in the name of Love, one goes about curing separation sickness. One lets the ego’s designs for the body go, and uses thought to power a happy dream for it.

Life becomes simple without the struggle to stay away from Happiness. One allows the belief in disconnection and its inherent unhappiness to dissolve in Love. Thy Will Be Done.

Relief does become Wholly Known.

Copyright©Darcie French 2017 All rights reserved

 

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