I live with, and love dearly, a video gaming addict. The times that Love is made conditional are the times when it hurts to “live with an addict”.
Eleven months ago, “my love for him” was made so conditional that I surveyed what seemed to be the disaster of our lives and told him, “12 steps or else”. He chose instead to uninstall the game, and apply his gaming skills to improving our material life together. He made drastic improvements in that regard.
I gave myself cancer symptoms from conditioning Love with anger.
And he wasn’t happy.
He recently re-installed the game.
Everyone has their path to Oneness that involves the surrender of substitutions: those substitutions must be naturally revoked by the breaking of universal law in order for Oneness to be sought.
And yet, for me to approve of his gaming without stating the likely consequences is like being one of the parents in the movie “Stepbrothers”, who approved of their “boys” (boys who were 40 year old men) taking their two single beds, and putting them together to make one bunk bed. Of course, the parents were blamed for giving the permission when the bed came toppling down on one of them. And so, I cannot give my blessing, but at the same time, I cannot withhold Love.
What is addiction? It is the forgetting of Self-Love, with the implementation of substitutes for it. And yet all substitutes run out in due time. From Mind do I release the conditions on Love, and allow what is.