Transcending codependency

(Dys)functionally, in the world of perception, I was raised codependent on my mother’s image, and I have unwittingly raised two out of three of my children to be codependent on mine. My first child had normal, stable attachments to her paternal side of the family, and so seems to have escaped the maternal side’s fate of codependency.

Yet codependency was one of the major motivations behind seeking enlightenment; I never could find true love in my mother’s image. And my children will never find it in mine; I cannot give them love with my image. I can only extend/return Love to the non-imaged Self.

As a codependent personality, I was always in fear of my mother’s reaction, and this transferred to fear of my children’s reactions. Unable to say “no” to my mother out of fear of hurting her feelings, I carried that fear into my relationships with two of my children. I have no built-in boundaries, and I routinely sacrificed myself to the point of burn out just to avoid a negative reaction from my kids.

My household became a disaster zone of hurt feelings, littered with the wrappers of substitute love.

I came to realize that I am only dependent on God Himself, not on His image. I survived and transcended codependency. The same will apply for my kids when they stop seeking for love in God’s imaginings, and discover that they, and God’s Self, are one in the same Love.





One thought on “Transcending codependency

  1. Pingback: Transcending crucifixion | Darcie French, BSW

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