Cleaning out my ash tray

I was eleven years old when the idea of death caught hold of me. I was sitting in a grade six classroom and it was as if the lights went out. All the color seemed to drain from my vision, and life and death became separated into black and white.

It happens for most all of us -we come to believe misinformed higher ups and lose the “childish” love for life, no holds barred. This love for life no matter what is not childish, but eternal.

The summer after the world turned black and white, I smoked tobacco and marijuana for the first time, and all the color came back.

Fast forward about thirty-five years, and the ash-tray of simulated color-production is full, and needs cleaning out. What was once perceived to be an asset has become a liability, like everything does, when the world is viewed through the glasses of separation.

I quit smoking and have been using the cancer dose of Rick Simpson oil, plus eating the cannabis plant fresh, to clean out my ash tray. Does it matter if my ash tray interferes with quality of life? It does, to me, to my parents who want their child, to my husband, who wants a wife, to my kids, who want a mother and grandmother. In the Mind of God, these are the ways I am desired to be. I have roles in the play to fulfill. I have thrown off the belief in separation that seemed to overcome me all those years ago, and so it is time to wholly agree with eternity.

There is only the Pulse of Life to either agree with, or disagree with. The Voice of God eternally says, “You Live, You Live, You Live”. The voice for ego says, “you die, you die, you die”. The Voice for God is eternal, and the voice for ego can never be made real. In agreement with the Voice for God does one forget the ego and heal. The current body fulfills its purpose, and life goes on.

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