Recently I was talking with a good friend who has also had cosmic revelation about how, for years afterwards, I was not ready to share in a teaching manner. My teacher of enlightenment, Dr Hawkins, had said this was ‘ok’ – enlightenment does not necessarily preclude one being a teacher of it.
I was terrified of facing the natural crucifixion by the ego that seems to go with teaching (this self-induced terror was not ‘ok’, because crucifixion is nothing). I hid under and went along with various personas and their programs- wife, mom, online content producer. This blog has traces of programming that I hope to update by clearing them out. The delay in publishing “Without the idea of death’ is due to the clearing of these traces from the book.
This hiding became so incredibly painful (I crucified myself by it), that I had no choice but to ‘come out of the closet’, as the saying goes.