A good friend of my husband’s is in his mid-40’s and has never been married or had kids; he simply prefers his singleness. Since the age of 14, I have been entangled in the consequences of sexual activity. I don’t recommend it.
I was listening to Dr Hawkins lecture once and he made the comment, “I don’t know why anyone would want to have kids,” and then “I don’t know why I just said that.”
It’s pretty par for the course for the sage to recommend celibacy and to avoid marriage and children. Sex entangles one in the world of perceptual unrealities. The sage knows there is only the Love of God, and avoids the insanity of extending the material.
Obviously, I started engaging in sexual activity prior to making enlightenment my #1 “goal” in life. My husband had a vasectomy after we met fifteen years ago – we each had two kids from previous relationships and felt a blended family of four kids to be more than enough. I still got pregnant. I had the baby, had a c-section, and got my tubes tied at the same time. I think we’re good now, but, it’s incredible how much work has gone into the sex act. Five children, and two surgeries. Not to mention everything else.
I used to be on a panel of presenters who were previous teen parents. We spoke to school kids about the trials and errors of teen parenting, and recommended abstinence vs sexual activity. I was the “poster-child” for abstinence being the only true option to avoid pregnancy, as I had gotten pregnant three times using birth control, the last time post-vasectomy. I might add that I was a marijuana user since age 11, so I tend to laugh about reports of it lowering fertility rates.
But I digress. My point is this: avoid sex if you want a life free of entanglement. Have lots of self-orgasms if desired, but don’t involve another body unless you want to multiply it, and all of its problems.
Reality is not of the senses. Perception is not reality. Special relationship that is sexual activity between two believed-to-be-separated minds does not give an example of actual union, but a perceptual simulation of it, and when attention is focused on the act itself, innately usurps Knowledge of Union with God.
Here is a description of actual joining. This can happen “during” sex, yet has nothing to do with remembering the body, and everything to do with forgetting it. The consequences of sex always remember the body, and keep one sensing limitation. “Everyone has experienced what he would call a sense of being transported beyond himself. This feeling of liberation far exceeds the dream of freedom sometimes hoped for in special relationships. If you will consider what this “transportation” really entails, you will realize that it’s a sudden unawareness of the body, and a joining of yourself and something else in which your mind enlarges to encompass it. It becomes part of you, as you unite with it. And both become whole, as neither is perceived as separate. What really happens is that you have given up the illusion of a limited awareness, and lost your fear of union. And while this lasts you are not uncertain of your Identity, and would not limit it. You have escaped from fear to peace, asking no questions of reality, but merely accepting it. You have accepted this instead of the body, and have let yourself be one with something beyond it, simply by not letting your mind be limited by it. ” (ACIM txt pg 387)