The dreaming of a subjective self

What is this thing, I used to ask myself of the body as I poked at it to test its reality. As a child, to be surrounded by a wall of flesh seemed strange. While definitely a limitation, it was somehow not connected to that which apparently lived within it. There was innate identification with what was aware of the body, but not with the body. The body itself seemed vague and unreal, like a dream.

A self-concept was also an alien notion. I needed another body looking at this one, or a mirror, to believe that I somehow also existed outside of the inner awareness that always is. If not for what I look at, I would remain undefined.

There are no such things as concepts in the Kingdom of Heaven. There is no need for a body, or a separate view of self, when everything is Provided by Father’s Extension to Son. As a child I was acutely, but indescribably, aware that a state of Perfection was somehow being obscured by the body and the ongoing development of self-concept.

As time passed, though, the idea of self-defense arose along with focused involvement with the body as a framework for getting ahead. The essential preference for identifying with awareness was temporarily forgotten. While I was busy projecting and then possessing a self-concept, the discomfort with the alien nature of the body and a conceptual me was pushed aside.

The never changing awareness of “I” that is forgotten in the name of the body and working with a concept of the body as one’s self is eventually, thankfully, always remembered. It is thankfully remembered because it is always eventually discovered, through constant trial and error with limited success, that innate perfection is preferred to what could ever be dreamed up as different. Thus the body is only seen for a little while, then it returns to the nothingness of which it was made. Spirit continues as it always has, and always will.

Both the body and the concept of a self outside of inner awareness or the Kingdom of Heaven are invented and change at whim. Both are made up of nothing but flickering thoughts about how things could be different than inner perfection – a kind of unnecessary magic – which is strange indeed. Intuition was correct – the body and the concept of a self based on the body’s activities are make believe.

To remember one’s eternal and changeless Identity in the Kingdom of Heaven, all one need do is inquire of oneself, “Who am I?” For I always am, and the me that comes and goes at whim is just made up. I remember who I really am, when I wake from the dreaming of a subjective self.

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