When the light went on that I had been seeing different bodies vs viewing the Same Self, the real healing began.
When I look back on my childhood, what stands out most is the overwhelming, all-encompassing love I experienced for my mother. The sun rose and set on my mom. She was everything to me.
And then, as I got older and the world seemed more concrete, I began to see my mother not through the experience of this great love, but as a body that could both give and withhold that love. I decided that it was not an eternal kind of love, but her love to give and take, and that I was at her mercy in this sense. Her love seemed given or withheld at the direction of her mind. When it seemed like she was withholding that love, I grew to despise both the image I had developed of “my mom”, and the image of my body or “her daughter” that she held in mind.
Forgiving myself for falling out of Love has made it possible to look without fear upon the illusions I once believed in. Falling out of Love or moving away from the Source of Love is the original error that produced the appearance of different bodies, and it precedes all other errors. The illusions of “my mother” and “her daughter” but put limits on the experience of the Love we share at our Source. To know Love is to look past the limits of our bodies.
Love doesn’t need bodies for its expression. When I was only seeing my mom as a body, and myself as a body, I was not noticing the Love that is inherent, at Source, to the relationship. I was stuck instead in entertaining the limitations on that Love.
It is freeing to let go of the images of bodies and look past them to the Truth. When I let go of the images I had erroneously cultivated of “my mom” and “her daughter”, in their places the Love that had never left is known again to flow clean and clear and pure. It is the straight goods, exactly how I remember it as a child: holy, beyond the physical, straight knowledge of nonlinear Source.